I Want to be a Psychologist?

A couple days ago, I decided that I could be a psychologist. After all, I'm a Psych major, right? And the only thing I love more than listening to people talk is telling those people what to do. Boo-yah! Dream job.

(Plus, when Molly Clock, the consulting psychiatrist at Sacred Heart -- as seen on Scrubs -- is this glamorous, how could I say no?)

But the thing is, this kind of thing happens to me all too regularly. Earlier this year I decided I wanted to work in marketing--after all, I've always loved telling stories, and marketing is essentially telling the story of a brand. Then I decided I wanted to be an independent consultant--of what, I didn't even know--I didn't think that far ahead. But it would be a great fit, I decided, because I would get to meet a lot of people, establish contacts, and dictate my own hours.

The weird thing is that all of those jobs would be a good fit, because they all appeal to different aspects of my personality and different styles of problem-solving. I guess only time (and the job market) will ultimately tell which type is the most compelling to me.

My only hope is that if I end up being a psychologist, I can be half as glamorous as Molly Clock...!

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Wait, No, Come Back...!

"Hi, I'm Joanne, it's nice to meet you," the woman says, stretching her arm over the desk and smiling warmly at me.

"Oh, so nice to meet you!" I say, shaking her hand and beaming back. A moment of hesitation--do I give her my name? I'm only working at this office for today. Does she even need to know? She won't remember--it'd be a burden on her brain. But wait, it'd be polite of me to say. I should say. But should I?

My mouth hangs slightly ajar as we shake hands. My mind is frozen. I don't say anything. A flicker of something crosses her face and she nods, still smiling, and walks away. As soon as she's gone, I know I've made a mistake.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!" I mutter to myself, knocking my forehead with the heel of my hand. I should've introduced myself. I knew it. Who cares if I'm only here for 7 hours of my life? I should've done it. 

I'm sure you know the feeling--that sinking wave of regret that washes over you the second you've made a mistake. Big or small, it's not a happy thing to feel. You just want to knock yourself over the head--because it would've been so easy to have prevented it! If only you were perfectly able to navigate every situation...

But alas, like me, you're only human. You're going to make mistakes. And so, even though we might sometimes forget to give our names to the Joannes in our lives, we have to learn to forgive ourselves. Take responsibility, yes, but also take it easy. Life goes on.

(Plus, she probably would've forgotten it immediately anyways.)

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Get In Your Barefoot Time

Wrote this for Pack Out Gear's blog--they're thoughts that I enjoyed, so I figured I'd share!

Recently, I've been spending a good deal of time in Boston, as I've been doing various temporary office assignments around the city. As someone who has lived in a suburb her whole life -- and who now attends college on a lawn-covered campus -- frequenting urban locales has made me step back and reflect on what makes city living and all other styles of living so different. More importantly, it's made me realize what they have in common. There are certain things that human beings just can't do without--essentials of living that are present in some form everywhere in the world. Unsurprisingly, one of them--in my opinion, the most important one--is green space.

Sitting on a bench in Copley Square yesterday, it made me smile to observe the crowded lawn in front of Trinity Church. Men were playing soccer, kids were running around, visitors and professionals alike were lounging--it was a perfect idyllic scene, a joyful island in the middle of the hot and bustling 9-5 grind.

It was a sight akin to that of Washington Square Park, which I visited when I was in New York over the weekend. The weather was hot and rather muggy that day, but the park was still absolutely packed with people. One man was lying right on top of the fountain jets, directly beneath the "Do not sit in fountain" sign. (Obviously, I loved that.)

To me, these are more than parks. They're safe havens, centers for both activities and meditation, and most importantly, sources of something utterly essential to our well-being and sanity: green grass. There's something about stepping onto grass (especially barefoot!) that instantly soothes and invigorates better than any beauty product can. And as city-savvy and technological as people have become, we all still need that feeling now and again. That's why parks are always crowded. And that's why maybe, you should take a chance and elevate your experience (pun possibly intended)--that is, take a break in the woods! Go swim in a lake, go climb a mountain, just go to a campground and pitch a tent for a night.

I promise you, you'll be glad you did.

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Why You Need Optimism >= Oxygen

Yes, I'm an optimist, and no, I won't let your cynicism get to me. (That was probably implied, but oh well.)

I read a saying recently that really makes sense to me. I don't know who said it, but it goes like this:

If they don't know you personally, don't take it personally.

What a good point! It's so easy to let little daily mishaps get to you, but that's such a bummer. For example, I'm currently temping at a marketing company in Boston. Naturally, I don't know how to do everything--that's just inevitable. So when one of our upper-level employees spoke gruffly to me about something I had done wrong, I was tempted to wallow in self-pity. Luckily, the optimism kicked in. Hey, well now you know--you should have been thinking about that task before he even had to ask! That's an example of how to be pro-active in your work.

Bullet of sadness = dodged; helpful lesson = learned! Besides, staying positive and being persistent is an incredibly valuable quality. If you need inspiration, look at this post from the popular Humans of New York blog:

"I've been trying to get into a full time orchestra for the past 20 years. I'd guess I've been to over 200 auditions. It can be pretty heartbreaking. I tried out for the New York Philharmonic four times. One time I prepared three months for the Los Angeles Philharmonic audition, flew all the way across the country, and they cut me off after twelve seconds. But believe or not, I still have a certain amount of optimism about the process. And I think I'm getting better."

I'm not saying that you should always, always persist if you fail hundreds of times, but I find this man very inspiring regardless. He might not have booked the right audition just yet, but he has the attitude that will take him there--and make him successful in whatever he ends up doing.

Being able to handle setbacks, and accept your own mistakes as learning experiences rather than personal downfalls, is a skill, and you can acquire it.

So next time something akin to any of these examples happens to you, just try to re-frame it in your mind. How did it make you grow? Do you now know something that will help you in the future, so you won't make the same mistake twice? And if someone was judging you--odds are that person doesn't know you completely. You, on the other hand, know yourself--and you know that you are a capable person of value and worth.

Don't let them get you down!

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I'm Just Doing This to Put It on My Resumé

As a young adult, I'm supposed to (kind of) have it together. Part of this, naturally, is having a kickass resumé. That way, when I get rejected from 10 prestigious internships in the same week, I can still sit back, look at my resumé and think, wow, my resumé is bad. ASS. And so well written! Gosh, I'm way more accomplished than I realized. Who cares if I don't have an internship? Anyone looking at this thing would die to have me!

(Healthy or not? You decide...)

Anyways, this obsession with appearing professional (despite dubious amounts of real work experience) has made me all-too-conscious of what I might and might not put on a resumé. It's gotten to the point where I catch myself considering what I can spend time doing based on whether or not I could use it to get a job later. Sure, thinking like this is smart, to a point--it keeps me focused and mindful of my future opportunities. But I think it's gone too far.

I decided that I want to volunteer at a museum this coming semester--there are a lot of fantastic Boston museums that I've loved for many years (e.g. Museum of Science, Museum of Fine Arts, various historical locations around here, etc.) But as I looked into the volunteer positions, I heard a snide little voice in my head, saying, could a Meet and Greet Volunteer position at the Museum of Science really help you get a job? After all, I'm not studying science, and I'm not exactly hoping to make a career out of working at a museum.

That's when I stepped back and asked myself, why the hell am I thinking about it like that? Since when do I base my interests off a vague idea of a future job interview for who-knows-what? I'd be signing up to volunteer at the museum for the best reasons--because I'm interested in meeting people and giving back to a museum that has brought me so much joy since I was a young kid! Feeling reaffirmed and confident in myself, I printed off the application and began filling it out.

Also, it's my personal belief that if a company is smart, they'll look to hire people who use their free time in meaningful ways. So I guess this is something that would look good on a resumé, after all...!

That still doesn't make filling out all the paperwork any more fun. Sigh.

That's all for now!

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I Really Have Nothing to Say Right Now

I haven't posted on here in a couple days. No, I haven't been busy. Honestly, I've been doing a lot of sitting at a desk. I just haven't posted because I haven't had anything significant to say. I find it irritating when people talk just to hear the sound of their own voice, so I had no desire to write just to see my words on a page.

I'm still looking into volunteering at a couple museums around Tufts next semester, so I'll post if anything works out. I'm mostly hopeful about either a history museum in Boston or the Museum of Science. We'll see!

Also, there's been a boy here and there, which is new and nice. But this isn't my personal blog, so I'll spare you the details. ;-)

Today, the representatives from Wrigley arrive for the big meeting tomorrow. I've got to say that I hit it out of the park with this one--I made them fancy little name tags in plastic sleeves, and they look great! They have the Wrigley logo and everything. I also made them each little welcoming packets, with information about the restaurant they're going to tonight, the guest WiFi information, etc. I know it's just a temp job, but I wanted to put effort into it anyways and show that I'm a competent and motivated person! Plus, working up the name tags took up a good chunk of an otherwise boring Friday. :-)

That's about it for now! Just wanted to let you know I am still alive and well, radio silence or not. I'm off to double check those packets...

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I Just Want to Time-Travel, is That Too Much to Ask?

There are few things more depressing to me than hearing students say they hate history because it's "boring."

Granted, not all historical texts are riveting, but history itself--boring?! Now that's just ridiculous.

History is everything but boring. It's not some ancient, crumbling tome, engraved in dusty rock and stuffed away in a basement. It's flexible, it's vibrant, it's ever-changing, it's fresh, it's new. It's a living record of everything that has existed and a reflection of everything that will come to exist. It's a story that never ends. Better yet, though, it's all real. 

People will scoff, saying things like, "You can't live in the past, you know." And it's true (though a certain Jay Gatsby would beg to differ) -- and that'd be a good argument, if historians were trying to live in the past!

But studying the past is not the same as trying to live in it. Studying the past is about seeking, asking questions, trying to expand our knowledge and comprehend the human experience in ways which we will never truly understand. What was it really like to be a Pilgrim, in that first winter on the cold shores of Massachusetts? What weighed on the minds of kings--what were the thoughts, the troubles, the hopes that never came to the light? How did Egyptian slaves feel when they opened their eyes each morning? Why did a cup of tea mean so much more to a colonist than it ever will to you or me?

Historians ask these questions to understand people, not to relish a time long gone. At the end of the day, studying the past means living a more vibrant present, enhanced by the knowledge and awareness of those who came before. It's a beautiful field of study.

Now tell me it's boring again--or try opening your eyes!

Boston Water Makes Boston Better

One thing I really love about Boston is its balance. Its population is about 7.7% the size of New York City's population, and geographically, it's about 1/6 the size of the Big Apple. So it's smallish, but compared to many cities, it's not small at all--and on my morning commute, it's certainly a bustling place! It's also a lovely, charming mix of modern and historical. It has a distinctly historic feeling to it--scattered throughout are traces, both architecturally, artistically, and culturally, of Boston's exciting and patriotic history.

One of my favorite examples of this can be found in our famously dirty water--or rather, sailing on top of it. We have boats, and they're beautiful! Here's a picture of one of the Liberty Fleet's tall ships, that gives tours every day in the summer around the harbor:

The office I'm in this week is located right along the harbor, so every day I walk by the Boston Tea Party Museum, which has two beautiful replica ships from the famous event. The little museum plays trilling flute music and employs men and women to stand outside, dressed in Revolutionary-era clothing. It makes me smile every time! Boston wouldn't be the same without its history, and I'm glad someone is keeping it alive.

So next time you're in town, keep an eye out for our boats--or maybe even go for a sail!

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I Can Make You Think There's Something to See Here

This is why I love taking Psych. It's just so real. I see it everywhere I go.

I learned about the phenomenon of pluralistic ignorance in a psych class over a year ago. For those who don't know, this is when you notice something, or want to act on something you perceive as wrong, but because nobody else around you is reacting, you choose not to act, preferring to blend into the crowd rather than risk looking the fool. Unfortunately, this often results in people not acting on emergencies--there was actually an incident in China where a little girl was struck by a truck--twice!--and nobody ran over to help! Unbelievable.

But choosing to look on the bright side, as I prefer to do, I like to think about the gentler instances of this phenomenon. The fact of the matter is, people act based on how people around them are acting, no matter how 'free-thinking' they say they are. I saw an instance of it this morning.

While walking along the beautiful Boston Harbor on my way to work, I glanced down at the water. As usual, I saw hundreds of moon jellyfish floating near the surface, pulsing gently and enjoying the sunny morning (at least, I'd like to think so). I've walked by them dozens of times in the past week or so, but I still stop to admire them each time. They're lovely! 

Well, my slowing down, combined with the similar actions of another commuter, caused an interesting reaction. Most people walking over the bridge slowed down to look over the railing too! I've seen how people walk over this bridge when nobody is stopped--they stride purposefully, as if nothing in the world could keep them from their destination. But as soon as some people are stopped, peering over the railing and clearly looking at something, other people realize--something's going on! And, not wanting to miss out or look the fool for passing by, they stop to check it out as well.

I'll think of it more as pluralistic knowledge -- next time you're somewhere public, test it out. Stop and squint at something; peer into a tree as if you're watching a squirrel do the most amazing thing you've ever seen. I guarantee that other people will slow down and stop to see what you're watching. Frankly, I think it's adorable--people believe they're free-willed, but they're more predictable than they'd imagine. It's oddly comforting.

Really, though, try it out--it'll make you smile!

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Free Time, and Work Time, and You

How do you know you really love to do something?

I started thinking about this the other day, when I was talking with Grace, the woman for whose job I'm filling in this week. We were talking about computer programmers--this office is full of them--and how they really love programming, to a degree beyond I-like-my-job. "They even go home and program over the weekend, in their free time!" I observed.

"That's actually a big thing that we look for," she said, nodding. She explained that when budding young programmers come in to the office to interview, the interviewers ask a sort of 'trick' question to determine if the engineer is truly committed to his or her work. The question is, what do you do in your free time?

"Because," she explained, "if someone really loves to code, he'll do it in his spare time too. That's how we weed out the people who really love what they do--that's the kind of person we look for."

I thought it was a neat idea, because sure, it's a good way of thinking. After all, passion shouldn't be turned on from 9-5, M-F, and then turned off again. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but imagine being in that interview and being asked that question. I might have a slightly different train of thought, something like, well, I do love to code in my free time, but I don't want them to think that that's all I do...so I should talk about my other interests too, so that they know I'm a balanced person. I just wouldn't want that to backfire on me.

I suppose, though, that there are ways we can incorporate our interests into our hobbies--similar to the work we do during the week, but less...work-ish. A programmer might make a little game or an app in her free time, for example. I guess everyone finds different ways to balance work-work and fun-work.

If I'm ever presented with that question in an interview, though, I know I'll be trying to find a way to make it seem as if I simultaneously work on the weekends and lead a very grounded, balanced, exciting life...ah well. I'll figure it out.

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I Need to Make My Own Decisions, Google

Google is great, but we use it too much.

Sure, it's all well and good to ask Google about the obscure and difficult questions. How do you make an outgoing call on an office intercom system?, I asked it yesterday. Or maybe you want to know something more simple, like, warm vs cold wash for white laundry load. Ask away.

But then you start asking it the questions that, if you're being honest with yourself, you could probably just ask someone you know. I Googled How to load a dishwasher the other day. And sure enough, a WikiHow page came up, telling me exactly what to do. Could I have said, "Hey, Mom, will you show me how you load the dishwasher? I kind of just want to know how much soap to use." It would've taken 3 seconds (as opposed to scrolling through all the annoying WikiHow pictures until I found the only one I needed). Plus, I would've gotten to spend those 3 seconds with my mom, which is a lot more fun than spending 3 minutes staring at a screen, alone.

Even that, though, pales in comparison to what I almost Googled this morning. Working as a temporary stand-in receptionist, I was making some name tags for a client meeting next week. As I typed up each person's title, I deliberated between typing "VP of [etc]" or "Vice President of [etc]". It was easier to type VP, but I couldn't tell if Vice President looked more professional. Suffering a moment of indecisiveness, I naturally pulled up a Google tab. I actually started to type Should I write VP or Vice President on a company meeting name tag when I realized how utterly absurd that would be. "For God's sake, woman," I scolded myself, "You can make your own goddamn decision about a word on a name tag!" I'm certainly intelligent enough to do that. If I really can't choose, I can ask one of the fifty employees here! Maybe I should be asking Google, What is my problem?

I already know, though, what my problem is, and it's a problem that you have too. We want Google to solve everything, because it can. Virtually all the information in the world is at our fingertips--we don't even have to leave our desks! But asking a computer what you should do is not the same as asking it how to do something. It implies that the computer has a sense of reasoning, of morality, of social sensibility--which, clearly, it does not. It's just weird to me. I hope it's not a sign that we'll eventually use robots for every last thing. Who needs a mom when you can get life and romantic advice from a robot?

Hmm...

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Physical Contact is Nice, Even With Strangers on the Train

The title about sums it up. This morning, I had settled grumpily into my small 2-person seat on the train. I had my earbuds in and I was ready to pass out. But at the first stop, a large man, lugging a briefcase and a raincoat, dropped heavily into the seat next to me. His girth extended beyond the invisible bubble between us, and his arm brushed against me as he began perusing his newspaper. Great, I thought. Really great.

But you know what? It was actually kind of nice. As I began to nod off, the part of his white shirt sleeve touching me slowly transformed from a starchy white button-down to a soft, billowing pillow. Sure, I hadn't dreamed of brightening my morning with a little arm-on-arm action with Mr. Hefty here, but unless someone's a real wacko, chances are I won't mind some unexpected physical contact. I'm betting you won't either. You might even enjoy it. 

After all, people are meant to care for one another--and physical contact of all types, from quick kisses to long hugs to pats on the shoulder, is a necessary part of any affectionate relationship. Did you ever find yourself wishing you could give a friendly (and definitely-not-weird) hug to a favorite professor? (Sadly, not very possible.) Trust me, you're not the only one. Humans like to touch each other! It makes us feel better, even if it's just the smallest touch. It's science--contact and even simple eye contact releases oxytocin, one of our 'happiness chemicals!'

So the next time someone stands a little too close to you on the subway, gather your bags closely and clutch your purse in a subtle way. You know, because of weird people and wackos.

But then let your arms brush together. It might make you smile. :-)

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4:00 pm is the Worst Time of the Day

Ahh, corporate life. (I say it as if I know so much about it. Ha)! I'm doing temp work for various Boston companies as a part-time summer job. Right now I'm at Catalina Marketing in Boston, by South Station. I'm lounging in a lovely high-backed white leather chair, at a smooth, 3-cornered white wraparound desk. Today I ate lunch with the rest of the office, organized some supply cabinets, and, in the true office fashion, rejoiced upon successfully tossing my crumpled aluminum foil sandwich wrapper in the trash can from a few feet away. It's been a good day.

But you know what happened? 4 o'clock happened, and I didn't like it. At 2:00, I was happily up and about, neatening and straightening the office. By 3:15, I was back at my desk. I researched fall internships (sigh, it never ends), which had me feeling productive and happy. But soon enough, my head began to droop; my eyes fluttered, and my fingers slowed on the keyboard.

See, 4:00 pm is the perfect storm. Your giant morning cup of double espresso, plus the can of soda you drank at lunch, have both worn off at last. Your sense of morning productivity has dwindled as the day goes on and you've managed not to do anything between 1:00 and 3:30.

"Damn it," you mutter to yourself. "Why do I work here again?" Then you remember that you need money so you can buy cheap beer and instant mac and cheese. Darn.

My only wish is that it was more culturally and professionally acceptable to leave work around 4:00--that way, you could squeeze in your workout, have dinner at the regular time, and be awake enough after dinner to be able to get in that last hour of work. I'm betting it'd be a more productive hour, anyways--you'd be revitalized by your workout, and the hour that would have been spent at work fighting off the urge to nap and staring at the clock every 15 seconds can now be spent, well, doing work.

Maybe someday. Until then, I'll be experimenting with 3:00 pm coffee--or maybe just doing a quick set of jumping jacks and some vigorous running-in-place in the ladies bathroom the next time I get tired!

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And Here We Go Again (Aka, Why My Small Attention Span Means I'll Never Actually Get This Blog Off The Ground)

Hi, my name is Jenny. I'm a sophomore at Tufts University, studying Psych and History and How To Make Friends With Lots Of People. That's basically what you need to know.

I run a Tumblr, and I'm good at running it. I update it every day--not because I feel I have to, but because something will come into my head, so I'll post it. For me, this is a rare and beautiful habit. My attention span is so short that--

Wow, look at that guy walking over there! He's really good-looking!

Oops.

Anyways, I have a short attention span, and I'm generally kind of bad at persisting at things over the long-term. That means that when I decided I was old enough to be a big girl and get a real blog, I posted maybe 2 things and then lost interest. Classic.

But, always optimistic and eager to turn over a new leaf, I decided to have another go at it! 

This time, my approach is different. Last time, I wanted the blog to have a theme, with posts only relevant to that theme. This is more akin to my Tumblr--I'll post various thoughts, theme not included. I'm hoping that'll make it easier to find material to post. The world is my virtual oyster! So yeah, I'm hoping that the title of this post was actually a lie. We'll see.

Thanks for reading. That's all for now, check back soon! :-)

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